Letting Go of “Shoulds”: Permission to Slow Down This Summer
By the time many women reach midlife, they’ve lived decades shaped by duty, ambition, caregiving, and meeting others’ expectations. Even in retirement or semi-retirement, those old habits whisper:
“What if just being is enough?”
It is time to permit yourself to slow down.
This soul-nourishing blog encourages women 55+ to let go of guilt-driven expectations and embrace slow, joyful living this summer. Through personal stories, scientific research, and gentle rituals, it reminds readers that rest is not laziness—it's healing. Permit yourself to slow down.
A Preamble - Permission to Slow Down
A Gentle Invitation to Reclaim Your Energy, Joy, and Freedom After 55
“I should be more productive.”
That was my thought as I sat outside one sunny afternoon, surrounded by birdsong, a gentle breeze, and a half-finished to-do list. My tea was still warm. My shoulders had finally softened. And yet... guilt.
The inner voice that had pushed me for decades whispered again:
“You should be doing something.”
But something in me — older, wiser, freer — whispered back:
“What if just being is enough?”
The inner voice that had pushed me for decades whispered again:
“You should be doing something.”
But something in me — older, wiser, freer — whispered back:
“What if just being is enough?”
The Tyranny of “Should” After 55
By the time many women reach midlife, they’ve lived decades shaped by duty, ambition, caregiving, and meeting others’ expectations. Even in retirement or semi-retirement, those old habits whisper:
You should be more organized
You should lose weight
You should keep up with the house, grandkids, errands, news, health trends, family drama, and your inbox…
And here’s the quiet truth: All those “shoulds” are draining. Not just emotionally, but physically.
A study in Psychology and Aging found that women over 55 who practiced self-compassion and unstructured time reported higher vitality and lower cortisol levels than those who prioritized external demands.
Translation? Guilt-free rest is not just allowed — it’s biologically beneficial.
A study in Psychology and Aging found that women over 55 who practiced self-compassion and unstructured time reported higher vitality and lower cortisol levels than those who prioritized external demands.
Translation: Guilt-free rest is not only allowed—it’s biologically beneficial. So, permit yourself to take it easy
Summer Is the Season of Permission
Think of summer in nature:
The trees don’t rush. The flowers don’t force. Everything stretches toward the sun — slowly, purposefully, joyfully.
Why should your spirit be any different?
Think of summer in nature:
The trees don’t rush. The flowers don’t force. Everything stretches toward the sun — slowly, purposefully, joyfully.
Why should your spirit be any different?
Story Time: Nora’s Summer Reset
Nora, a 62-year-old friend of Loop See Ladder, shared how last summer she was burnt out — not from work, but from pressure. Pressure to help too many people. To join every committee. To make every day “count.”
“One morning, I put on my sun hat, made a cup of iced tea, and just sat outside with no plan,” she said. “I ended up sitting there for three hours. It was the first time I’d felt like me in years.”
Nora started calling it her “slow hour.” It became her non-negotiable — a time to exist without goals, expectations, or guilt. She permitted herself to slow down.
And from that stillness? Her energy returned. Her joy followed.
Nora, a 62-year-old friend of Loop See Ladder, shared how last summer she was burnt out — not from work, but from pressure. Pressure to help too many people. To join every committee. To make every day “count.”
“One morning, I put on my sun hat, made a cup of iced tea, and just sat outside with no plan,” she said. “I ended up sitting there for three hours. It was the first time I’d felt like me in years.”
Why Slowing Down Recharges Midlife Energy
When you allow yourself to rest without shame, several powerful things happen:
Your nervous system resets (goodbye fight-or-flight)
Creativity returns (hello, fresh ideas and possibilities)
Energy renews (without caffeine or overwhelm)
Your body heals (literally — blood pressure and inflammation decrease)
According to the Journal of Aging and Health, older adults who engage in slow, restorative outdoor activities — like sitting in nature, gentle walking, gardening, or daydreaming — report greater life satisfaction and emotional resilience.
When you allow yourself to rest without shame, several powerful things happen.
According to the Journal of Aging and Health, older adults who engage in slow, restorative outdoor activities — like sitting in nature, gentle walking, gardening, or daydreaming — report greater life satisfaction and emotional resilience. [²]
How to Start Letting Go of “Shoulds” This Summer
1. Catch Yourself Should-ing
Next time you hear, “I should…” pause. Ask:
Who told me that?
Is this really mine?
What would happen if I didn’t?
2. Create a “Slow Hour” Ritual
Pick one hour a day (or week) to:
Sit outside and do absolutely nothing
Lie in a hammock and cloud-watch
Journal under a tree
Listen to your breath, not your phone
3. Let Nature Lead
Let your rhythm match the breeze, not your calendar
Notice how the flowers don’t hustle
You are nature too — it’s okay to bloom slowly
4. Replace “Should” with “Could”
Instead of: I should walk today
Try: I could walk… or I could nap, stretch, sip tea, or lie in the grass and feel the sun.
“Could” is a word of possibility, not pressure.
Catch Yourself Should-ing.
Replace “Should” with “Could”.
This Summer, Choose Gentle Over Guilt
You are not lazy. You are not behind. You are not wasting time.
You are healing.
You are reconnecting.
You are remembering who you are without the noise.
And sometimes, the most radical thing a woman over 55 can do is stop trying so hard — and enjoy the breeze.
You are not lazy. You are not behind. You are not wasting time.
You are healing.
You are reconnecting.
You are remembering who you are without the noise.
🌿 Download Your Free Gift
“10 Micro-Moments of Joy: Outdoor Edition”
A peaceful printable checklist to help you slow down, unplug, and recharge — a straightforward moment at a time.
👉 Download It Here
✨ Want a Deeper Reset?
Explore the Joy Blueprint Workbook — designed to help women 55+ design a life filled with energy, delight, and calm.
Here is my latest Medium article: Wardrobe Audacity: Dressing Like I Mean It After 55. It’s a fun read!
More Resources for You:
Blog by Chris: Science Says Time Can Be Slowed Down for Women Over 55
Blog By Chris: Create Your Outdoor Sanctuary: A Peaceful Space for Women 55
Digital Download By Chris: When the Time is Right: The Pathway to Surrender
Digital Download By Chris: The Ultimate Wellness Bundle for Women 55+
Digital Download by Chris: Self-Discovery Workbook for Women 55+ to Thrive
From Prime Spark: Women Over 55: How Do You Explain Yourself to Yourself?
From Apple Podcasts - Suzy Rosenstein: Women in the Middle®: Loving Life After 50 - Midlife Coach Podcast
FAQ
Q1. Who is this article for?
A1. For women aged 55+ who are feeling the pace of life accelerating, the “always-on” drive getting harder to sustain, and are ready to give themselves permission to take it easy, recalibrate, and live with more ease.
Q2. What does “permission to slow down” really mean in this context?
A2. It’s about shifting from “I must always be doing, achieving, moving” to “I can choose to pause, breathe, rest, savour”. The article explores how intentional slowing is an act of self-care and recalibration—not laziness or giving up.
Q3. Why is this message especially relevant for women over 55?
A3. Because at this life stage, many of the old rhythms, motivations and external expectations may no longer serve you. Energy patterns change, priorities shift, and the article helps you align with a rhythm that honours your body, values and life experience.
Q4. What kind of practical ideas does the article offer?
A4. You’ll find suggestions such as:
Choosing one “slow-down” ritual each week (e.g., a quiet morning cup, a mindful walk, a no-device hour).
Re-examining your schedule through the lens of “does this invite life or drain life?”
Re-thinking your relationship to productivity, moving from “busy means worth” to “purposeful presence means worth”.
Cultivating inner permission—giving yourself the green light to rest, contemplate, and enjoy the quiet spaces.
Q5. What if I feel guilty about slowing down or worry I’ll lose momentum?
A5. The article addresses that common fear. It reminds you that slowing down isn’t the same as stagnating—it’s about moving from a more sustainable, centred place. Momentum isn’t lost—it’s transformed. The goal is a pace that supports you rather than wears you out.
Q6. Does this replace professional support for deeper issues (burnout, anxiety, health concerns)?
A6. No. This piece offers mindset shifts and practical support tailored to women 55+ who want to live more intentionally. If you’re experiencing significant burnout, mental-health challenges, or major life transitions, professional support is recommended alongside these practices.
Q7. How can I keep the benefits of slowing down going beyond the article?
A7. By embedding one small slowing-ritual into your routine, checking in monthly on how your pace feels, protecting what restores you, and treating the practice of rest and reflection as a lifelong companion—not a one-off.
👉 I thoughtfully use AI tools to polish my writing, but every story comes from my lived experience.
