Letting Go of “Shoulds”: Permission to Slow Down This Summer

A image using scrabble tiles to spell out the words 'slow down' to give yourself permission to slow down..

By the time many women reach midlife, they’ve lived decades shaped by duty, ambition, caregiving, and meeting others’ expectations. Even in retirement or semi-retirement, those old habits whisper:

“What if just being is enough?”

It is time to give yourself permission to slow down.

This soul-nourishing blog encourages women 55+ to release guilt-driven expectations and embrace slow, joyful living this summer. Through personal stories, scientific research, and gentle rituals, it reminds readers that rest is not laziness—it's healing. Give yourself permission to slow down.

A Preamble - Permission to Slow Down

A Gentle Invitation to Reclaim Your Energy, Joy, and Freedom After 55

“I should be more productive.”

That was my thought as I sat outside one sunny afternoon, surrounded by birdsong, a gentle breeze, and a half-finished to-do list. My tea was still warm. My shoulders had finally softened. And yet... guilt.

The inner voice that had pushed me for decades whispered again:
“You should be doing something.”

But something in me — older, wiser, freer — whispered back:
“What if just being is enough?”

An infographic about the choice between productivity and presence.

The inner voice that had pushed me for decades whispered again:
“You should be doing something.”

But something in me — older, wiser, freer — whispered back:
“What if just being is enough?”

The Tyranny of “Should” After 55

By the time many women reach midlife, they’ve lived decades shaped by duty, ambition, caregiving, and meeting others’ expectations. Even in retirement or semi-retirement, those old habits whisper:

  • You should be more organized

  • You should lose weight

  • You should keep up with the house, grandkids, errands, news, health trends, family drama, and your inbox…

And here’s the quiet truth: All those “shoulds” are draining. Not just emotionally, but physically.

A study in Psychology and Aging found that women over 55 who practiced self-compassion and unstructured time reported higher vitality and lower cortisol levels than those who prioritized external demands.

Translation? Guilt-free rest is not just allowed — it’s biologically beneficial.

An infographic about the cycle of self-compassion and well-being.

A study in Psychology and Aging found that women over 55 who practiced self-compassion and unstructured time reported higher vitality and lower cortisol levels than those who prioritized external demands.

Translation: Guilt-free rest is not only allowed—it’s biologically beneficial. So, give yourself permission to slow down.

Summer Is the Season of Permission

Think of summer in nature:
The trees don’t rush. The flowers don’t force. Everything stretches toward the sun — slowly, purposefully, joyfully.

Why should your spirit be any different?

An infographic about the cycle of natural summer living.

Think of summer in nature:
The trees don’t rush. The flowers don’t force. Everything stretches toward the sun — slowly, purposefully, joyfully.

Why should your spirit be any different?

Story Time: Nora’s Summer Reset

Nora, a 62-year-old friend of Loop See Ladder, shared how last summer she was burnt out — not from work, but from pressure. Pressure to help too many people. To join every committee. To make every day “count.”

“One morning, I put on my sun hat, made a cup of iced tea, and just sat outside with no plan,” she said. “I ended up sitting there for three hours. It was the first time I’d felt like me in years.”

Nora started calling it her “slow hour.” It became her non-negotiable — a time to exist without goals, expectations, or guilt. She gave herself permission to slow down.

And from that stillness? Her energy returned. Her joy followed.

An infographic about reclaiming joy through stillness.

Nora, a 62-year-old friend of Loop See Ladder, shared how last summer she was burnt out — not from work, but from pressure. Pressure to help too many people. To join every committee. To make every day “count.”

“One morning, I put on my sun hat, made a cup of iced tea, and just sat outside with no plan,” she said. “I ended up sitting there for three hours. It was the first time I’d felt like me in years.”

Why Slowing Down Recharges Midlife Energy

When you allow yourself to rest without shame, several powerful things happen:

  • Your nervous system resets (goodbye fight-or-flight)

  • Creativity returns (hello, fresh ideas and possibilities)

  • Energy renews (without caffeine or overwhelm)

  • Your body heals (literally — blood pressure and inflammation decrease)

According to the Journal of Aging and Health, older adults who engage in slow, restorative outdoor activities — like sitting in nature, gentle walking, gardening, or daydreaming — report greater life satisfaction and emotional resilience.

An infographic about benefits of rest and slow activities.

When you allow yourself to rest without shame, several powerful things happen.

According to the Journal of Aging and Health, older adults who engage in slow, restorative outdoor activities — like sitting in nature, gentle walking, gardening, or daydreaming — report greater life satisfaction and emotional resilience. [²]

How to Start Letting Go of “Shoulds” This Summer

1. Catch Yourself Should-ing

Next time you hear, “I should…” pause. Ask:

  • Who told me that?

  • Is this really mine?

  • What would happen if I didn’t?

2. Create a “Slow Hour” Ritual

Pick one hour a day (or week) to:

  • Sit outside and do absolutely nothing

  • Lie in a hammock and cloud-watch

  • Journal under a tree

  • Listen to your breath, not your phone

3. Let Nature Lead

  • Let your rhythm match the breeze, not your calendar

  • Notice how the flowers don’t hustle

  • You are nature too — it’s okay to bloom slowly

4. Replace “Should” with “Could”

Instead of: I should walk today
Try: I could walk… or I could nap, stretch, sip tea, or lie in the grass and feel the sun.

“Could” is a word of possibility, not pressure.

An infographic about how to slow down and reduce pressure.

Catch Yourself Should-ing.

Replace “Should” with “Could”.

This Summer, Choose Gentle Over Guilt

You are not lazy. You are not behind. You are not wasting time.

You are healing.
You are reconnecting.
You are remembering who you are without the noise.

And sometimes, the most radical thing a woman over 55 can do is stop trying so hard — and just enjoy the breeze.

An infographic about embracing rest and self-discovery.

You are not lazy. You are not behind. You are not wasting time.

You are healing.
You are reconnecting.
You are remembering who you are without the noise.

🌿 Download Your Free Gift

10 Micro-Moments of Joy: Outdoor Edition”
A peaceful printable checklist to help you slow down, unplug, and recharge — one simple moment at a time.
👉 Download It Here

✨ Want a Deeper Reset?

Explore the Joy Blueprint Workbook — designed to help women 55+ design a life filled with energy, delight, and calm.

Here is my latest Medium article: Wardrobe Audacity: Dressing Like I Mean It After 55. It’s a fun read!


More Resources for You:

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Stay Tuned: Next week's blog is about Summer Wellness Rituals for Women 55+: Feel Radiant and Revived.

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To provide my readers with the best, most up-to-date information and insightful content, I utilize AI technology to assist in crafting well-researched, engaging, and thoughtful posts. This enables me to deliver the most relevant and helpful advice on personal growth, wellness, and lifestyle for women 55+. Rest assured, all content is carefully curated and personalized to ensure it aligns with the needs and interests of my audience.

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Create Your Outdoor Sanctuary: A Peaceful Space for Women 55